With Ups and Downs it Comes I guess.

manga thingie

2009-01-20T12:44:46Z

And now I will continue mentally preparing myself for the second training day of essent. Only 7 more to go ...
Ah well I get paid for it.

Why not

2008-11-03T14:13:26Z

So because I'm ill, and sitting at home is boring, I have decided to join NaNoWriMo. Feverish heads do make confusing story lines. But I think that my head has created a female narrator who is a vampire. At least thats what I think she is. Because my hands haven't allowed me to actually give her a name yet, or say clearly that she's a vampire. Though one of the dudes in the story is. Well actually he's a vampire king, or prince.. well something royal. Oh and I think there will be magic, magic is good, and it will probably filled with chicklit stuff.

yes I know its a piece of crap. But at least its fun to do. But that could be the fever speaking.

NO!

2008-10-31T21:58:53Z

David Tennant is leaving dr who after the specials.
That just sucks.
I'm going to sulk in a corner now.

venjia @ 2008-10-13T20:56:00

2008-10-13T18:57:54Z

apparantly we will know that aliens actually exist by tomorrow (or the day after that)
lol..

Bah

2008-09-25T06:45:56Z

Our Cat learned how to open doors all by itself. Great Fun...

Happy Happy Happy

2008-08-27T11:56:17Z

Hell Yeah! I have my bachelor, I have my bachelor, I have my bachelor.

Well that's the short story. Long story. Yesterday I received an email saying that the exam for Jews, Christians and Gnostici was avaible "ter inzage". Horrible thing about it. They send the freaking mail at like 5 in the afternoon. And you could only see the freaking exam from 9 till 12 in the morning. So nice, that meant no sleep for me last night.

This morning I woke up way early after like 2 hours of sleep or something (sure it doesn't help that Wout snores when he has a cold, but still that wasn't the only reason) Dressed myself, pleaded with Wout to come with me. (I'm a wuz when it comes to grades and having to face my exams alone) Together we went to the Religion faculty and there I saw the most beautiful grade ever.
Alright, it was only a 6 but it was the last passing grade I needed for my bachelors degree.

So now off to Terwispel to celebrate with parents..

Introducing Jamie

2008-08-22T11:38:52Z

She's the cute fluffy little kitten Wout and I adopted.

Question for people who have a cat

2008-07-18T13:25:01Z

Do they smell?
Do they make your room smell?
Because I personally think it will not be that bad.. Yet my parents are convinced that cats produce a bad smelling odour that will hunt you forever.

Of course they are just busy trying to convince me and Wout not to get one..
But they are not succeeding.

Hell yeah

2008-07-16T14:37:49Z

Master here I come :D

hurtage

2008-05-31T12:05:18Z

Painting and cleaning for two straight days makes your body ache.
It makes it very hard to concentrate on studying.
Stupid upcoming exams.

dietist

2008-03-24T12:32:25Z

So tomorrow is the day in which I have my first appointment with a dietist.
I'm afraid that she will only tell the stuff I already know, and that it will not help me one bit.
But still I want to lose weight. Preferable around the 15 kilos. I don't care how long it will take me (they do say that it's healthier for you if it takes a very long time) but I need to change my eating lifestyle.
And to do that I need help. someone to push me in the right direction, and to kick me under my huge ass when I need to be kicked under my huge ass.
I'm sick of being an emotional eater and it should be done with once and for all. So she better help me take small steps in the right direction.
Give me information about good food, and bad food, new information etc..

So tomorrow dietist.

She told me when I made the appointment that I needed to keep an eating diary. Which I did for the past week.
Why oh why did I have to keep a diary in the week of easter and my brothers birthday. That results in bad food BAD BAD FOOD especially when you have parents who shove it into your face I mean who can say no to that, especially with my weakness for pie.
I have such a weakness for pie.. And there were like 3 pies in my parents house 3 LOVELY PIES it's so unfair. But I managed to keep it reasonable I think..

Now I'm just scared of her judging me on what I ate.
So mostly this rambling above is mainly to say that I'm scared to be judged.

well

2008-03-14T10:57:44Z

writers of LOST you suck! I love you're show and all, but why? why? did you have to do that? It's mean and totally unfair!

Watched I'm Not There at Images yesterday, and have only one word to describe it with.. vague.

Now on to homework, since that has to be done.

Wow

2008-03-13T10:51:28Z

Damn one of my hal people has a very loud girlfriend. And I don't mean in a talking way..
Blergh..
Not what one wants to hear when walking in the halway.

hmmm

2008-03-03T19:27:59Z

I see that I have not posted for over I don't know how many months, and that made me wonder why.
The conclusion I got to was very an easy one. I have been extremely busy.
I'm trying to finish my bachelor thing this year, and I still have a lot of points to catch up on. I have a few friends that I try to keep in touch with, but even that sometimes seems like a major task. I have to call, and text message and look what I has to be done that week and what not, I still manage to see them, but sometimes not as much as I wished to.
There are days that the only time that I talk to my boyfriend is when I get up, and when I go to bed. That is also because he has the same workload as I have.

At the moment I have become sick of it. I miss hanging out with people, even if those people are just friendlies. I miss having friendlies around. I miss hanging out as much as I want to with my real friends. My life is dreadfully boring, i'm yawn materiarl even more than I already was to begin with.

But I just have to keep in mind that I'm doing it for a good cause (that is if everything works out the way I planned it)

Still, when I have a day at which I don't have to do so much (like today) I miss the person I was last year, but since I'm already want to reach to another book, just to read up, I think that person is gone. Blergh...

oh my god

2007-10-30T20:30:01Z

trying to get me by naming my spelling mistakes how low people can sink. Actually it's quite a pathetic way of doing that. Especially if you're not even brave enough to put you're name at the top of the message.

So just to make clear what most of you people probably already know: Most of the time I make huge mistakes in my english, usually because I"m too lazy to check the spelling, who gives a fuck!

Makes it easy for me to guess who wrote the message though, although said person will probably deny it, because that's what said person does.

Anyway some people really can't stand when they hear the truth about themselves and continue to magically change their emails in such a way that someone else is always to blame.
So you go from, no it's his fault I never did anything wrong and never said that!, to, no it's his fault and yes I did those things but had reason because of my AUthority(don't I learn quickly) (yes I know it's difficult for certain people to uphold their original stories especially when people start comparing emails and exchanging different stories to see what stories are told) oh and it's even more brilliant when it goes to no it's not his fault, it's your fault now! Look at me being angry.

And it probably goes from that to: Oh no she's totally lying, I would never do anything like that, and leaving was her decision.

Ah well, we'll always have the emails...

Oh hell

2007-10-28T21:00:47Z

You know what. People annoy me. They extremely annoy me. People actually are horrible (with the proper exceptions of course) They expect you to behave in a certain way, and when you behave a bit different they get all cross with you.

It sucks!

Its stupid.

especially since they always expect of you to just deal with all the different acting they do and then get angry at you for not understanding.

I have decided to become extremely anti sociable starting from now. It has no use, I don't want them around me. Finished.. done... that's what I am with people

Being social takes to much time and effort and it's totally not worth it in the end.

Powertrips will only get you that far

2007-10-25T22:18:32Z

Athority.
Lovely word isn't it.
Athority...
But what does it really say? I know that a boss can have some kind of athority over his employee, I know that I should have respect for the athority of my professors.

But athority when amateur theatre is involved is regarded as something completely different. Well at least that's my humble opinion.
It should not mean that once a person refuses to participate in a stupid (again in my eyes completely useless) game, because of a certain possibility of hurting his knees, he should get the choice participate or leave.

And when that person decides to leave because of former sentence, he should definitly not get an email which content talks about athority, and being obliged to participate. While ending with a, otherwise you might want to reconsider actually wanting to be part of this group.

Because that will get you no where, that will just leave you with one less member, an unfullfilled role, and a very pissed off best friend.

So before giving these kinds of choices, ask why someone refuses to participate instead of sending them threathening emails.

explanation

2007-10-19T10:08:59Z

So to shed some light over my reaction yesterday.. As usual I over reacted. I tend to do that lately. The overreaction had to do with some stuff that has been happening lately. I've been treated badly by certain individuals some of you might know them, some might not. But most of all I've felt like people just dont (want to) understand me lately.. and not even ask for explanations.

I'm really messed up have been for the past couple of weeks. I'm too busy with schoolstuff to be capable of sorting the shit out.

I actually feel like I'm close to having a nervous breakdown.

I'm back to the highschool feeling "I do not deserve to be liked by people, and its only natural that people do not like me"

And I tend to react that way, to make sure that people do not like me, but at least it will be my deciscion then.

The people who got hurt by the last message, or offended or something alike. I'm sorry. I might have ment it at that moment but not because I was angry at you.

I'm afraid its more that I'm really angry with myself for being weak, and I can't seem to deal with that.

protective

2007-10-18T07:47:12Z

I'm very protective about the people I love, and my friends.
So when one of those people has a possibility of getting hurt by the actions of others, the bitch in me arises. And I don't mean not so nice Anneke, no I really mean an evil part of me. I want to hurt those people back, even if I don't know why they did it.
I also have the tendency to never want to be around them again.
This is something that I always had.
I will give up everything for those people, no matter what, and I will certainly not care about the prospect that other persons will dislike me because of that.

A lot of people dislike me, so just join the line, I can handle it easily.

well... ehm...

2007-09-25T18:25:00Z

He's coming back! 3 months earlier then planned.
He hates America booked a ticket and will be arriving at Schiphol sunday.

Although part of me is thrilled that I get to see him again, the other part of me is scared that he will regret this in a couple of years.
Thats why I insisted that he would stay there. I did this for almost a month, until he said that he was coming back.

So at the moment I'm kind of struggling about how I should feel, although the really happy part of me is winning.

And he left

2007-09-01T06:14:18Z

Wout went to Ypsilanti yesterday, which is near Detroit in America.
The saying goodbye was hell, it physically drained me.
Right now I feel kind of empty, like something is missing.
I have never said this before, and I know that some people might not understand it.
But I love him.
He's a part of me and completes me, and at this moment I have no idea how I'm going to come through these months.
But part of me is optimistisch that I will get through these months, and at Christmas he's back again.

In spite of it all I really hope he has a good time over there.
Even though I'll miss him like hell

the truth is..

2007-08-28T17:43:16Z

That I can't be bothered to do anything school related at this moment.
Part of this is illness related, because half of the time I'm just to damn tired to do anything else than sleep, or watch tv, the other half, the half in which I should be capable of doing something school related I'm not doing it because I find spending time with my boyfriend more important.
And I should do school stuff, I'm way behind as it is and next semester is going to be hell.
But where is my motivation?
I need my motivation back, I had it last year, before I decided to get pfeiffer in the middle of my exams, but I had it.

But now the motivation is gone, now I just keep having the lovely thought in my head. Quit studying it is no use, you'll never pass it anyway, you're way to stupid, just do callcenter work or even better, database entry for the rest of your life, at least you're good at that.

It does not help that I'm not exactly thrilled about Wout leaving for America in 3 days (well a bit less than that) but I remain the dutyfull girlfriend keeping up appearances that its a wonderful oppertunity for him and that he should go and have fun. He however has made it difficult for me to do this by saying that he does not want to go anymore.
Luckily I will have him back at Christmas, something I'm looking foreward to.

Other news, uni will be starting soon. The same goes for auditions. Although I'm not extremely hopefull for getting a part this year (there are so many girls who are extremely talented and/or pretty and therefore better qualified) but I will remain shussed about that and try to hold on to my positive side, and that is that I'm going to kick ass and land a part, and otherwise find other things to do(although I really hope thats not going to be the case)

Last note: Ever realized how many pregnant women walk around at Zoo's? Especially the one in Emmen, it's scary, trust me it really is.

sigh and stress

2007-08-12T13:04:56Z

So most part of the summer vacation is over, and what a lovely one it was (part of me is being truthful here, the other part sarcastic)
The bloodtest came out positive for pheiffer, something I already thought, and for a couple of months I've been feeling extremely tired, and then not so tired, and then extremely tired again. It was lovely. Especially with me snapping at people because I cannot stand the fact that I'm not capable of doing what I usually do, so instead I take it out on other people.
Which is horrible.
It was worst in Edinburgh (yes I did go, although I felt tired most of the vacation) where I sat in a room with 5 other people, all friends, and I because of my stubbornness decided to almost do everything all the others did, which resulted in me having a mood from hell halfway through.
I don't know if the others saw or felt it like that, but I did, so I want to apologize.

Then we have the thesis, essay and resit I have to finish in two weeks. And I'm stressing about those, simply because I can't seem to read more than an hour, before falling a sleep and because of all the sleepy feelings I have the worst concentration problem ever.

Then next week the keiweek, lovely little week, and of course this year I had to become a keileider. I have already decided for myself that I will not do everything, I will either do something in the afternoon, or sleep the rest of the day and do something in the evening with the group. Luckily for me Niek and Annelien also are in my team, so I just hope they'll understand.

And then in two and a half weeks my newly found boyfriend goes to America to study there for 4 months. Also not looking foreward to that because he seems to be the only one I allow in close proximity this summervacation. And the fact that I have to miss him for 4 damn months. I don't like that.

On a brighter note, I bought myself a notebook. And got it at a cheap ass prize. And after Wout has left for America I will at least be busy doing GET stuff for the Nuts camp of that same weekend.

following the rest, please tell me..

2007-07-19T10:30:59Z

what a way to spend your holliday

2007-07-12T18:45:01Z

1. I have a boyfriend
2. I have great friends
3. I have awesome plans to go to Edinburgh.
4. I absolutely have to rewrite some school stuff and hand them in.
5. I am going to be a keileider.
6. I have an awesome paying summerjob which would have abled me to not having to work for at least a couple of months after school had started again.

Jup my vacation was looking full and fabulous.

But then as fate has its nasty little ways with me. I become ill. I have days where I do nothing but sleep. Days that I can do a bit of stuff but feel extremely tired the day after that.
So I went to my doctor, hoping it was some awefull disease he could cure with penecilline or something.
The dr takes a few looks at me, grabs my troath a lot and ends it with saying " Hmmm I'm sorry to say this but I'm almost 95% sure that you have pfeiffer"

Great! The one disease no one can do anything about. Aint it fabulous.
So of to the blood pricking thing me and Wout went, where I almost fainted because of lack of food in my stomach and the having to give them 3 tubes of blood.

Rest of the day I slept, I cancelled Edmee her party. Untill Wout remembered me that we still had tickets for the newest harry potter movie. I was feeling a bit less tired at that moment so went. Two and a half hours of doing nothing but concentrating on the big screen and it ended with me lying in bed directly afterwards, not being capable of doing anything but sleep untill it was 3 in the afternoon today.

I hate this!
My throath hurts, my head hurts, I'm tired and my head is twice its regular size, and there is nothing what they can do about it.

Ah well we can still hope that it does not turn out to be pfeiffer, but since all the symptoms are correct I sincerely doubt it.

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeej holliday.
Freaking stupid way of life.